


never let go

by hannahsviolets



Category: Dawson's Creek
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Edwardian Period, F/M, RMS Titanic, dawson fans beware, djo fans beware, somewhat of an abusive relationship, titanic movie au fic obviously, you can p much tell who is who
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-03-06
Packaged: 2018-05-24 11:02:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6151537
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hannahsviolets/pseuds/hannahsviolets
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joey Potter is a wealthy socialite engaged to be married to Dawson Leery. Pacey Witter is a poor artist working the streets with his best friend, Jen Lindley. The two meet aboard the Titanic on it's ill fated maiden voyage and fall in love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. tickets

**Author's Note:**

> So Titanic is my favorite film, and I've always dreamed of writing a Jack and Rose AU for an OTP of mine, but I could never find the right one. I am so excited to release this fic onto the world, because I feel like I've been studying this movie for so long trying to think of how to write this. This is dedicated to my dear friend Rachel (danielosbourne on tumblr) and I hope that she and all of you enjoy it.  
> I tried to do some research on terms of the time and the way the ship was built in order to give proper description into things, but if some of it is false, I apologize.  
> Also before reading this, I advise you that because this is a Titanic fic there will be a few major character deaths. I hope that this doesn't stop you from reading, but you've been warned.

New beginnings were what Joey Potter had hoped for when Mr. Leery had announced that he had purchased tickets aboard the maiden voyage of the _Titanic._ She’d be going back to America, where she’d spent her childhood, the happiest years of her life – where her mother had been alive and her family had been happy.

It wasn’t as if life in England wasn’t happy. She’d travelled here with the Leerys, her wealthy neighbors who had taken her in when she was fifteen due to her engagement to their son Dawson. She found Mrs. Leery herself to be a bit full of herself to say the least, however Joey did get along well with Mr. Leery to an extent, enjoying the jokes he often cracked and how he tried to make her feel more comfortable. The Leerys had been friends of her mother’s, their relationship going back to far before Joey had even been a thought in her parents’ heads. They’d lived next door to each other back home in Massachusetts, back before Joey’s father had left the family for a waitress that he’d met at a restaurant that the Potters often frequented. (The seperation itself had taken quite the toll on Joey’s mother, which led to her already declining health worsening, which of course resulted in her death). Following Lilian Potter’s passing, Joey was put under the care of her elder sister Bessie and while the arrangement had been rather fine with Joey, she was engaged to Dawson Leery before her sister had even finished University. And when the Leerys had decided to make the move across the sea to England, they’d subsequently lost all contact with Bessie, much to Joey’s disappointment.

But the _Titanic_ offered great opportunity for Joey. It offered her the chance to go back to the place that she held so dear to her heart, to the place that she had truly felt at home. Of course, the Leerys were the only home she’d known for the past two years and although the way they flaunted their wealth at every single party and dinner and only spoke of themselves instead of things that Joey enjoyed like literature and history, they were still her family. Or at least, they were going to be.

Joey’s relationship with Dawson Leery was a bit complicated to say the least. She’d known Dawson all of her life and had begun having feelings for him around the age of ten. They’d died down a bit because of the heartbreak of her mother’s passing but they’d come back rather quickly once they’d entered the puberty age. Dawson had been the first boy she’d held hands with, the first boy she felt affection for, the first boy that she’d kissed. He held a close place in her heart and always would, but following his asking for her hand in her marriage, things had changed more than a little. She began to realize that Dawson’s charm came from his constant chatter about theater and his own life, which at one point, Joey had found fascinating. But now, she found it dull if anything. And while her fourteen year old self would be thrilled at the prospect of getting to spend her life married to Dawson Leery, a seventeen year old Joey found herself in somewhat of a chaotic situation.

She was completely alone in the world now and the Leerys were all that she had. She couldn’t afford to speak out loud of her doubts about a marriage to Dawson, about a boring life filled with patterns and the gossip of their peers that she couldn’t bring herself to care about. And Joey didn’t think that Dawson cared too much for her either. He loved her, she was sure of that, but he had an odd way of showing it. He was usually wrapped up in his own life, about how he was planning on directing a stage version of one of his newly written scripts and about the cast and the crew and how busy his schedule was. He never cared much to ask about Joey’s day or about what she was planning to do back in America, and if Joey was being honest, she really didn’t have any plans. Her only plan was to get married to Dawson, fit into the high societies that New York women frequented and never ask for anything. It was the opposite of a life that she wanted to live, but Joey had no way of leaving it.

     But when Joey first laid eyes on the grand ship that was the _Titanic,_ she couldn’t help but feel herself fill with hope and a sense of excitement. She was helped out of the towncar that she’d been sharing with Mrs. Leery by Mr. Leery and her entire face lit up at the sight of the ship.

“Excited, are you?” said Dawson’s voice and Joey turned to see him beside her, as he always seemed to be. Breathing down her neck . . .

She nodded. “Yes. And yourself?”

Dawson tiled his head to the side and gave her a look that she couldn’t read, “It’s all I’ve spoken of for months. Honestly, Joey, do you ever even listen to me?”She stopped herself from sighing, knowing that it would just upset Dawson even further and instead just shrugged. “I do. I was just making conversation,”

“Oh, I do hope that the food is good here,” exclaimed Mrs. Leery, fussing with her coat. “The last ship had just awful caviar. I swear, you wouldn’t even have been able to tell that it was fish for goodness sake!”

“I thought it was alright,” Mr. Leery expressed, handing a few rolled up dollar bills to a man collecting their bags. “What would you say, Dawson? Josephine?”

 “I think any ship that’s taking me to America is a good ship and I’d say that Joey agrees with me on this, don’t you, Joey?” Dawson pats her on the arm and Joey does nothing except nod. This is the exact kind of thing that Dawson does that she detests, the speaking for her, the always being right next to her making her feel like she’s being choked.

     Joey stays silent for the walk up to the ship. She admires it’s beauty and it’s size, wondering about how long it must have taken to build and if it’s just as beautiful on the inside as it is the out. The Leerys are chattering away about something, probably about the friends that Mrs. Leery is supposed to meet at their stop in Cherbourg (the McPhees, Joey thinks that they’re called) all while Dawson keeps his tight hold on her. She always takes note to where the third class passengers are boarding, and while they’re being checked for disease, they all look mostly happy. She envies them, and thinks for a moment, that they might be better off than she.

     Mr. Leery speaks to a uniformed man when they approach the doorway leading inside the grand vessel. He gives their names, and they are immediately welcomed with smiles that Joey has come to recognize. The Leery name opens up many doors, it seems to be most common knowledge that Mr. Leery’s large train of restaurants can lead to great riches for those who make the right investments. “Welcome aboard the _Titanic,”_ the officer tips his hat to them. “Someone will be arriving shortly to lead you to your rooms and we do hope that you have a pleasant stay,”

     Mrs. Leery almost straight away begins moaning about having to wait to be shown to their rooms, but practically the second after she spoke, a steward bowed to them and a smallish group of porters took their bags. Joey gave them a gentle smile and reminded herself to remind Dawson to give them each a tip once they arrived at their rooms.

     The interior of the ship is just as beautiful as the outside, and it truly amazes Joey how much detail is put into everything. Even the carvings on the wooden walls are marvelous. They’re lead through rooms that Joey wants to explore desperately, but finds that she’s probably not going to have a chance to considering that she’s going to spend most of the voyage by either Dawson or Mrs. Leery’s side and neither of them are the exploring type. Their guide leads them one floor higher, to C Deck. They’re lead through a white paneled hallway where Mr. Leery hands over his money and valuables – all locked in a velvet box – to the purser. Once everything is deposited, a different steward continues taking them down a hallway. The first door that the steward opens, is Mr. and Mrs. Leery’s suite. The second, a little farther down, is Dawson and Joey’s. It’s rather lavish, a four poster bed in one corner and a mahogany table in the center. The walls are somewhat shiny looking, made of red and gold fabric and while Joey is not usually fond of the colors, she finds that she likes them here. There’s a mantle just beneath the mantle and Joey runs her fingers over the small clock resting on top of it. The stewards rush about to help Dawson unpack his things, Joey’s stewardesses doing the same.

     She can’t help but notice that is being watched carefully by Dawson’s personal valet that he acquired about six months before, Clarence Hitchcock. He was a man in his mid forties, who spoke very little and always had a stern look on his face. Hitchcock gave Joey an uncomfortable feeling, the way he was always watching over he when Dawson was preoccupied and she couldn’t help but feel like this was specific orders from Dawson. He himself was always looking after Joey like she was a child who couldn’t care for herself, and if he was busy, he probably figured that Hitchcock needed to take over for him.

     Once everything had been put away – Joey’s many expensive dresses hung up in the wardrobe, Dawson’s jackets pressed, and the suitcases hidden in the back room – the stewards and stewardesses exited the suite and Dawson sent Hitchcock out as well. He motioned for Joey to sit next to him on the flower-patterned couch and as usual, she did as told. He slipped an arm around her. “I’m honored to be taking this journey with you,” he professed.

     Joey nodded. “I am as well,”

     “I’m even more honored to be sharing this bed with you this evening,” Dawson got this look on his face that he often got when speaking of matters of the bedroom. The look was presumptious, especially considering that he and Joey hadn’t done anything other than some kissing and the occasional fellatio, which Joey did not enjoy. She found that Dawson didn’t really want to do anything for her own personal pleasure, and the act of making love was something that he’d been trying to convince her to do for months now.

     Joey once more simply nodded, without saying anything. It was the easiest way to avoid an argument.

* * *

 

     Pacey Witter was also originally from America. He’d ended up in England about a year earlier after being kicked out of his home by his father when he was fifteen. Pacey had come from a large family, three siblings – only one of which, has actually left their small home town – and two parents who were very unlike himself. His father worked as a bodyguard to the town’s mayor, his mother a seamstress and they’d been expecting Pacey to work to earn food. But Pacey had never really been the working type – he’d only gone to school for a few years of his life, before dropping out to find work in a factory. He’d also never been into obeying authority which led to him being let go from two jobs working into two different factories. When he was a bit older, he’d begun taking odd jobs around the town as it was the only thing that he could do at that point. But before long, this also ended badly as Pacey was caught in bed with the wife of a very successful businessman. This had been the final straw for his father, who then took the liberty of throwing Pacey out of the house and leaving him to his own accord.

     He’d traveled around the states for a bit, before he’d ended up on a ship that was setting course to England. Pacey’d always been an opporunist and the thought of going to a completely different country, start a new life for himself was the most beautiful thing he could imagine. And so he’d left, began the new life he wanted, sleeping in a different place every week until he’d found somewhat of a steady career when he was staying in France. Pacey had spent most of his life feeling as if he’d never be good at anything until one day by happenstance, he came across a blank sheet of paper and a pencil and had just begun sketching the family eating supper in front of him. After a few months of doing this, a lovely older woman had come across him drawing two children playing underneath a lamp post and offered him one pound to draw a portrait of her.

     It had become somewhat of a lifestyle for him. It didn’t always pay too well, but he was able to pay for food and if occasionally a night or two at an inn. But the thing that Pacey found most enjoyable about artwork was meeting new people. If it weren’t for his drawings, he never would’ve met Jennifer Lindley, who he referred to as Jen. About nine months ago, Pacey had met Jen in a bar and she’d seen his sketchbook and asked if she could look at it. Ever since then, she’d been somewhat of a business partner for him, scoping out prospective clients and quite a few times, even posing for his popular nude drawings – Jen’s were his most popular by a mile, and many a man had offered somewhat large sums of money.

     Jen was his partner in crime, they began always traveling together. Jen herself didn’t have much of a family, her parents as well had thrown her out of her home when they’d caught her in bed with an older man – she and Pacey bonded over their similarities. And it was because of Jen that Pacey got himself a ticket aboard the _Titanic._ The two of them had spent the morning in a bar in Southampton, after a night of throwing meaningless comments to a couple of German folk and the men that they’d come across had asked them to a game of Poker the next day. Pacey and Jen had woken at the crack of dawn, crawled out from under the bridge they’d been sleeping under and met the men in the closest pub. The game had been going on for what felt like hours, Pacey betting all of their belongs against Jen’s advisings, and it was looking like they were going to lose the game. But Pacey’s luck always seemed to have a way of turning, and within seconds, his luck changed for the better and he presented Jen and the two men with a full house. A full house meaning that they now owned everything on the table, including two tickets aboard the _Titanic._

     Jen stood up and cheered, clapping her hands together and pulling Pacey’s forehead to her lips to kiss him, thanking him over and over. She’d always dreamed of going to America, having been born there and coming over seas with her parents when she was ten and Pacey felt a bit pleased with himself that it was because of him that she was going to get to see the land of the free once more.

     “I can’t believe it! I get to go to America! I’m going home! This is the biggest fuck you to mom and dad imaginable!”

     “No, love,” interrupted the bartender who pointed to the clock. “ _Titanic_ ’s going to America in five minutes,”

     And then the reality of the situation hit Pacey and Jen and they turned to each other for a meer moment before tossing the few coins that they owned into Pacey’s rucksack – Jen being sure that she got hold of their tickets – and ran out of the bar.

     “Can you run any faster?” Jen called, only a few feet in front of him.

     Pacey was running fast, it was just that there were loads of people around and he didn’t want to trip over a child or push anyone over. He rolled his eyes at Jen silently, but the adrenaline that was currently running through him kept him in a cheery mood and unable to do anything but smile. “I’m gonna be a god damn millionaire in America, Jen! I can smell it from here!” he yells out towards her.

     Jen turns her head and laughs, “Well then, I’m gonna be a god damn billionaire!”

     They both knew that neither of these situations were plausible, but the hope that came with being passengers on the grandest ship in the world and going to America was elating both of them far past their usual realistic dreams.

     The two of them reach the bridge leading to the third class gate just as it begins to pull away. Jen waits steadily for Pacey for a few seconds, knowing that the stewards are more likely to listen to him then they are to her. He hurries past her, grabs her by the hand and yells at the stewards to wait. Pacey practically tosses the tickets at the man and spouts what would probably sound like bullshit if it weren’t true about both of them being Americans before he’s let onto the ship. He throws his rucksack inside of the ship, jumps in and then grabs Jen by the waist to help her through.

     “Can you believe this? Can you believe our fucking luck, Jennifer? Two of us on the ship of dreams?” Pacey doesn’t think he’s ever smiled so big in his life and Jen laughs like she’d spent the past five minutes doing.

     “Perhaps our dreams will go past making a few pence in America!”

     Pacey throws his arm around her shoulder and they both fall into another fit of giggles, probably looking strange to the people surrounding them, but neither of them caring. Jen takes the tickets from him and reads their room number aloud so that they can both search for it down the seemingly endless white corridors. They’re surrounded by many non English speaking folk, which isn’t too uncommon for them given their lack of wealth, but Jen does find it difficult to hear what Pacey’s saying over the loud noise that everyone seems to be making.

     But they do find their room somewhat quickly. It’s small, not as small as Pacey had expected it to be, which he considers to be a luxury. It contains two berths and a small sink with only one small window. To a first class passenger, it would probably look like a hell hole, but to Pacey, it looks like a dream. There are two other men already in their room and Pacey puts his rucksack onto his bottom bunk, without a second thought. He figures that it’ll be much safer for Jen to share the room with two strange men on the top bunk than anything. He introduces himself, and then introduces her, but the men appear to be speaking German which isn’t a shock since they’d won the tickets off of two German speaking men in the first place. He climbs up to Jen’s bunk once she’s up there and they smile at each other once more.

     She pulls an apple out of her rucksack that they’d been saving and slices it in half with Pacey’s pocketknife. “I can’t believe I’m this excited to go back home,” he says to her after taking a bite. “I mean, when I left, I wanted to be gone for good but going back just feels like . . . a new beginning, you know?”

     Jen nods. “Yes. I mean, let’s not act like we’re not still going to be doing the same thing we’re doing here,”

     He shrugs, agreeing with her. “Okay, you’ve got me there. But in America, we’ll get to be working for some pretty clasy folk. And by that I mean –“

     “You’ll paint me nude and some old rich gentleman will buy them from you?”

     “Ah, one can only hope, Jennifer,” Jen pokes him in his side when he says that and Pacey feels that for a moment, things are just wonderful. He feels that things cannot get any better than this.


	2. meetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I just couldn't help but post another one of these quickly. I'm sorry!

At Cherbourg, the McPhee family did indeed come aboard the ship. They were a quiet bunch, but Mrs. Leery still managed to get Mrs. McPhee along with their daughter, engaged in their tight knit little group.

The McPhees had two children, Jack and Andie, who were Dawson and Joey’s age and Joey found both of them to be positively delightful. Andie was much like her in the sense that she was a fairly educated young woman, who thoroughly enjoyed long discussions about things other than frilly hats and petticoats. Jack was a shy gentleman, who spoke only when spoken to, and even then answered in a soft tone of voice that Joey found interesting and admirable. Dawson however, was not Jack’s biggest fan and insisted to Joey that it was all a façade that he was putting on in order to attract Joey. Joey didn’t think so at all, she thought that Jack was just this way in general and Andie confirmed this belief. “He’s so shy, you wouldn’t believe it, Josephine! At home, he speaks a little bit more, has to look after mother and I of course, but still! Very quiet!”

“My name is Joey,” Joey said when Andie finished speaking.

“Oh,” said Andie, looking a bit surprised. “I do apologize, I just assumed, that is what Mister Leery refers to you as,”

Inside her head, she rolls her eyes, but like she always does, she can’t show it. “Yes, well, um I prefer to be called Joey if that’s alright by you,”

Andie smiles. “Of course. I’ll pass on the message to Jack,”

“Thank you,” Joey nods.

The following morning, Andie makes a point of sitting next to Joey at breakfast. She’s a kind girl with a lively face and a spirit that Joey doesn’t quite recognize, she isn’t sure how this girl can keep a smile on her face in their upbringing, but perhaps this Andie is just good at putting on a show. Jack helps Joey into her seat and she thanks him, and the moment she sits down Dawson practically grabs her face and presses their lips together. Mrs. Leery scolds him and apologizes to their fellow diners and Dawson explains this by simply saying that he just cannot manage to keep his hands off his fiancee. He makes a point of enunciating the fiancee part while staring down Jack, and Joey is even more uncomfortable than she was a moment before.

Margaret Brown, one of the women who they dine with is a woman like Andie, fiery and talks a lot more than a woman of high society should. Mrs. Leery had been explaining to Joey just before arriving at breakfast that she hoped that the woman avoided them, calling her “new money” and Joey is more than a little happy that Margaret joins them. She even makes a point of asking her how she’s enjoying her stay, just to hear her go off on a rant. Andie, also, is fascinated by this woman and the two of them spend most of the meal talking whilst Mrs. McPhee and Mrs. Leery mutter quietly amongst themselves and their husbands talk business.

A server came by their table to take their orders and Joey began to order her own meal – a bit of salmon, but Dawson beat her too it and ordered them both a plate of lamb. Joey absolutely despised lamb and she felt that perhaps she had told Dawson this before, but he seemed to have forgotten. Or more likely, hadn’t listened to her in the first place. “Sounds delicious, hmm, Joey?” he says and once more, all she can do is nod. He has his hand on her knee and once more from the corner of her eye, she can see that awful Hitchcock eyeing her from a lone table to her left. She takes a deep breath.

“Oh, Mr. Andrews, you are still planning on taking us on that tour of the ship tomorrow?” Mr. Leery asks once the server leaves.

Thomas Andrews, was the head naval architect in charge of the original plans of the _Titanic,_ and Mr. Leery had been raving about getting to speak with him since they’d bought their tickets months ago. Mr. Andrews folded his hands and nodded. “Of course, Mitch, as long as you still want to,”

“Oh yes, we’d all love to, Mr. Andrews! It’s all Gail and I have been talking about. We want to see every inch of this marvel – perhaps we can get some new ideas for the restaurant we’re planning on opening in New York,”

Mr. Andrews smiles but holds up his hand. “I’d be delighted,”

Joey thought that a tour around the ship sounded lovely. It would be nice to take a long walk and get to breathe in the fresh ocean air while taking in the scenery surrounding them. Dawson, on the other hand, was less than pleased, whispering to Joey that the whole thing sounded tiresome and he would much rather enjoy staying in the first class lounge, speaking with the other men his age. It was this that caused Joey to stand up and excuse herself from the table. She just couldn’t take much more of Dawson’s constant negative speak and the fresh ocean air was becoming more and more entrancing by the second.

She could feel Dawson as well as Mrs. Leery’s eyes staring after her, pleading her to come back and sit down and eat with them like a proper lady but for what wasn’t the first time, Joey ignored them. She’d face the consequences of this later.

* * *

 

Pacey and Jen had traveled out to the third class decks themselves. They’d wanted to spend as much time outside as possible on their voyage, and that was all going to start the second the sky brightened. So at dawn, Jen was awakened by Pacey poking her lightly and telling her to get dressed so that they could go out and run around. The two had decided that it would be best for Jen to change while their bunk mates were sleeping. She didn’t mind anyone seeing her naked obviously, but the prospect of the two men being dangerous was a chance she wasn’t willing to take.

By lunch time, many other third class passengers had joined Pacey and Jen on the deck. Many of which were unattended children, which Pacey came by very rarely and always enjoyed doing action shots of them running around, carefree smiles on their faces. Jen had been making conversation for the last several minutes with a blonde woman with a strong british accent who was going on and out about her mother, who was a stage actress in Britain and had apparently lost all of her money. Pacey wasn’t paying her much attention, he was too caught up in his sketchbook but it was the woman’s asking of their names that bade him to look up for the first time.

“Jennifer Lindley,” Jen says and reaches forward to shake the girl’s hand.

“Pacey Witter,” Audrey slides past Jen when she sees Pacey’s face for the time and holds out her hand to him. He kisses it.

“Audrey Liddell,” she says with a tone that has become all too familiar to him. She’s very pretty, a blonde with nice eyes and the sort of face that’s welcoming and offers friendship. “Where do you two come from?” She takes a seat in between Pacey and Jen.

“We’re both from America originally,” Pacey explains. “I came to England about two years ago,”

“I came when I was ten,” Jen adds.

“Why are you going back to America, then?”

Pacey’s smile lights up his face. “Won our tickets in a poker game yesterday morning. Had no where else to go so we decided to come aboard,”

“And are you two a couple then?” she asks.

“A couple of friends, is all,” Jen answers, tucking a few strands of her hair behind her ear. “We met a while back in a pub while Pacey was showing me his art,”

“Ah, yes,” said Audrey, noticing that Pacey was looking back at the children who’d been playing near them a few moments ago and sketching down their movements. “Do you make any money off of them drawings of yours?”

“Only the ones I’m in,” Jen says and Pacey flips her off jokingly. She slaps his hand away and giggles.

As Pacey stares past Jen, he notices on the B deck promenade, stands an intensely beautiful woman. He’s seen beautiful women before, even drawn quite a few of them, but not like this. Her dark brown hair is tied up and she’s taking off her white gloves, as if she’d been uncomfortable with them on. She’s quite tall and thin, and her eyes mask a certain pain that Pacey can’t tell whether or not is always there or if it’s just something she’s feeling in that moment. Regardless, she is breathtakingly beautiful and he finds himself forgetting that Jen and Audrey are even there. Jen makes a few teasing noises when she sees the woman that Pacey is admiring, but he doesn’t hear her because he’s far too caught up in this moment.

Audrey shakes her head and then places it on Pacey’s shoulder. “Forget it, love. A fellow like you will never so much as be next to the likes of her,”

And Pacey knows that, but he still just wants to look at this girl, admire her beauty. He wants to begin sketching her, but he doesn’t want to look away from for a second in fear that she’ll leave. She does leave in a few moments, whisked away by a tall blonde gentleman in a suit. She argues with him, but reluctantly goes when he grabs her by the arm.

When she goes, Pacey looks back at his sketchbook as if nothing had ever happened. The two boys he’d been drawing earlier have gone. “Um, Jen, you want to go pose over there?” he points towards the railing next to him.

“So we’re just going to ignore the wealthy madam you were just eyeing?” she raises an eyebrow.

He shrugs. “It’s not like I’m going to see her again, anyway,”

“She was rather beautiful,” Audrey comments and Pacey can’t tell whether or not this is going to lead into an insult or not. He doesn’t nod, he just looks at this girl with a blank expression. “She was, wasn’t she? Isn’t that why you were admiring her?”

Deciding that she was being genuine, Pacey shrugged. “It’s not every day I come across a beautiful woman of her caliber,”

“Gee, thanks, Pacey,” said Jen. She says it deadpan, and only because he knows that she will not be further offended by it, he simply makes a face at her and she grins. “She also seems to be in somewhat of a relationship with that gentleman pulling her away,”

“Looks like a real bastard to me,” Audrey admits. “I don’t know, I just don’t like the look of him,”

Pacey will have the image of this beautiful woman in his mind for the rest of the day probably, but at this time, it’s best to just move onto a different topic. Audrey had been correct in what she’d said earlier – he’d never so much as be in the same room with her so there was no point in speaking of her further. Audrey seems to have the same idea as him though because she says, “Would you mind drawing me, Mr. Witter?” and Pacey nods. “It would be an honor, miss,”

* * *

 

Joey had seen a third class boy staring at her when she’d been sulking at the B deck earlier in the day, but she hadn’t paid him much attention. He probably thought she had something on her face or something, which she probably didn’t because Mrs. Leery hadn’t rubbed it off of her.

She’d spent the rest of the afternoon at tea with Mrs. Leery, Andie, Mrs. McPhee and a few elder women who Mrs. Leery was trying to get into her inner circle. They had rambled on and on about Archibald Butt, a general whose name Madam LeRou always chuckled at as well as Edith Russell, who woman who was travelling the ship alone and made her own money, which most of them found very odd.

Joey and Mrs. Leery had walked back to their suites in silence, which was just as Joey liked it. Upon arriving back in her room, she was welcomed to the site of Dawson who was getting dressed for dinner. “Oh, um, I’m sorry,” professed Joey as she turned to leave.

“No, no,” Dawson said, stopping her and taking her by the hand. “Darling, you’re my fiancee. This is nothing you haven’t seen before,”

He turns her back around and this may have been calming to some people, but Joey found it more alarming than anything. Dawson pressed their lips together and then kissed her on the cheek. “How are you today?”

“I just finished tea with your mother and a few others,” she said.

“I figured. And how was the usual gossip today?”

“Boring, but it usually is,” Joey confessed, sitting down on a chair.

Dawson sat next to her and took her hand in his, kissing it. “Well, you’d better get used to it. And I don’t mean that in a bad way, it’s just that you know, that’s what you’re to spend your life doing,”

It wasn’t a crass thing to say, it was just a fact. Joey’s entire life would be spent meeting with other women of her social standing. Every single day for the rest of her life woud be spent like today. Not saying much, laughing when she was supposed to, always sitting up straight, relishing in whatever it was that the ladies she was surrounded by were speaking about. It hadn’t hit her until that exact moment, that this was exactly why she’d been so unhappy lately. Because every day was going to be exactly like the last. No spontaneity, just endless days of mindless chatter and then, once they were properly married, nights of making love to a husband that she wasn’t even sure she had true feelings for at this time.

And at dinner that evening, she can’t even bother listening. She’s staring straight ahead, imagining growing into an old woman with no excitement or adventure, only being known as a wife to Dawson Leery and a mother to children who were doomed to live the same life as she. Joey wanted someone to notice how she felt. She couldn’t say it because she couldn’t speak out of term, but there had to be someone, anyone who noticed how she felt. No one had noticed for seventeen years, why would they notice now? And within seconds, Joey felt a weight on her chest like she’d never felt before. She felt as if she couldn’t breathe, like she was going to begin choking right there at the dinner table and she knew that even then, no one would even look up from their plates.

Before she even knows what’s happening, Joey’s running and she’s no longer in the dining room. She’s running along the B deck promenade, and she must’ve ripped her hair out from it’s tight dressing because she can feel it against her back as she runs. Her cheeks are streaked with tears and she’s sobbing loudly, being stared at by a strolling couple who looked shocked at this public emotional display. She’s not one of public displays emotion, she doesn’t even explode like this usually, but it’s just that she’s so angry and she’s furious and it just seems like this is the worst time in her life and nothing will ever get better. She’ll never recover.

* * *

 

Pacey had snuck away from Jen (and Audrey, who had professed her love for the two of them a few hours ago and had hardly left their side since) to get a moment alone. He figured he was going to have very few of these aboard this ship and he should take the opportunity as much as he could. He’s lying on top of a bench gazing at the stars above him and listening to the calming sound of the sea, when he overhears the sound of footsteps, running. He’s the only person on the poop deck and he immediately lifts his head to see what the fuss is about.

A woman is running, breath hitching in an occasional sob and running towards the very back of the stern deck – the back of the ship. Pacey watches her from afar for a bit, before seeing what she’s actually doing – climbing over the railing. His own breath hitches in his throat out of fear that he’s actually going to see this woman jump, and steadily, he gets up from the bench to go on over to her. It’s not like he’s just going to just let her jump.

Very quietly, Pacey approaches the woman, whose back is to him and holds out his hand so that he can grab her if she were to slip. “Don’t do it,” he says in a stern voice, but quiets his tone so not to startle her.

The woman turns her head a bit and Pacey instantly recognizes her as the first class woman he’d been gazing at earlier that day. Her beauty takes him by surprise again. “Go away! This is none of your business!” she shouts at him and Pacey is surprised even further that no one hears her.

“Excuse me, miss, I kind of think it is my business. I mean here I am, just enjoying the night sky and you’re hanging off the back of the ship – making a lot of noise, I might add. You’re kind of making it my business,” he knows that this sort of sarcastic tone he’s using could go two ways. One, it will upset her and she’ll jump, or two, she’ll argue with him. It’s a fifty fifty chance, but he’s pretty sure that she’ll choose the second option.

“You could just look away and pretend you didn’t see anything,” she tells him.

Pacey shrugs, trying not to show his own fear. “I could. But then I’ll have them on my conscience for the rest of my life and I intend on living quite a long one. You wouldn’t want to corrupt the rest of my life, would you?”

The girl pauses for a moment and he thinks that he hears her whisper “no.” And after the “no” comes a “Well, I’m going to jump either way so you’ll at least have attempting to talk down the girl before she jumped on your conscience,”

“I don’t want that. I want you to climb back over the railing, and for you to be alright. Just take my hand – “ Pacey steps towards her once more.

“Don’t come any closer!” she commands him and he does as told.

“Alright,” he says. “But uh, if you don’t mind, until you do jump, maybe we could talk a little. Is that okay?”

The woman says nothing.

“I’m here on this ship going back to America – well, I mean, of course, that’s why we’re all aboard – but I was born there. Uh, the accent, see? I figure you were born there too. Where are you from?” Pacey asks. Although he and Jen play back and forth with insults, she does often tell him that his way of being able to charm anyone is the best thing about him. He’s using that to his advantage in his situation and it seems to be working for him so far.

“Massachusetts,” the woman states through hurried breaths, like she is trying to calm herself.

“I went there myself once,” Pacey explains. “The ship that I sailed to England on came from Massachusetts. Cape Cod, to be more exact. It’s beautiful there –“

“Why are you telling me this?” the woman asks.

“To get us acquainted since I know that you’re not going to jump,” Pacey states.

“And how, may I ask, do you know that?” the woman backfires in a snarky tone that would’ve attracted Pacey to her if it were not for the situation at hand.

“Because you would’ve done it already,”

The woman seems unable to deny this and she turns away, looking back out at the sea.

“Just give me your hand, okay?”

For the first time, the girl looks at him. She sees something in him, it seems, because she looks him up and downa few times and it’s not out of disgust for his ragged clothing. She looks intruiged, almost fascinated. And Pacey thinks that it’s this alone that gets to her finally nod and say, “Alright,”

She unfastens one hand from the railing and reaches out for him to take it, which he does firmly. She begins to turn, so that he can lift her over, but the height is rather frightening. Pacey, keeps a tight grip on her hand, and she’s quite steady and is able to fully turn around. Pacey and the woman meet face to face for the first time and now, knowing, she’s safe, he smiles. “I’m Pacey Witter,”

“Joey Potter,” she introduces herself, voice quavering.

“Pleased to meet you, Joey,” Joey looks as if blushing but it may just be the fright of the situation. It happens in a second, but her foot slips from the railing and she plunges, letting out a piercing scream. Pacey stays gripping her hand, and Joey is still screaming for help. “I’ve got you! I won’t let go!” he tells her, in some attempt to calm her,

Pacey holds her with all his strentg, bracing himself on the railing with his otherhand. Joey is able to calm herself enough for a moment to get a foothold onto the hull. Pacey grabs her from under the arms, clutching at whatever he can to get a good a grip on her to get her over the railing. In an awkward grab of limbs, the two of them fall together in a tangled mess onto the deck.

And it’s then that the quartermaster arrives and Pacey can’t help but think that of course now would be the time for him to show up. “What is all this?” he bellows and Pacey looks down to see that Joey’s dress is almost completely ripped and a blatant _Shit,_ hits him hard. The man practically snatches Pacey, holding him back by the arm to keep him away from Joey. 

* * *

 

Joey watches as this Pacey is detained by the master at arms, handcuffed and treated like an animal rather than a hero. She’s sitting on a nearby bench watching the situation as she waits for Dawson to arrive at the scene. He does within moments, followed of course, by Hitchcock and another gentleman who must’ve fetched them from dinner. Dawson hurries over to Joey at first, only to run his fingers through her hair in an act of comfort, but then turns his attention to Pacey. He shoves him a few times, which in any other situation would’ve made Joey laugh, because Dawson couldn’t hurt a fly.

“What did you think were doing? Touching my fiancee the way you did?!” he shoves him once more before Joey gets up to stop his incessant yelling.

“Dawson, stop, please, it was only an accident,” Joey wraps her hands around Dawson’s arm to relax him, which it seems to.

He turns to her and says softly, “Joey, just let me handle this, okay?”

“No, just please listen!” she says it in a voice she’s never used and this catches his attention. “I was leaning over to look at the propellers and I slipped,”

“What - ?” said Dawson and the master at arms almost in unison.

“Yes, I had just gone for a walk and I was interested in how the ship was running so I leaned over and I slipt and I would have gone over board, and Mr. Witter here rescued me,”

“You just leaned over?” Dawson repeated.

The master at arms turned to Pacey, who hadn’t said a word since being arrested. “Was that the way of it?”

He doesn’t even think of telling the truth, not wanting to embarrass Joey even further than she probably already is. “Yes,”

“Good for you, son. You’re a hero,” said the man, uncuffing him.

Dawson kisses Joey on the head and while she’s surprised and how understanding he’s being, she can’t help but think of her brave savior. Apparently, Dawson is pleased with this third class man for rescuing her and this surprises Joey, because she always thought that Dawson looked down on the lower class. “Perhaps you would join us for dinner tomorrow, mister - ?”

“Witter,” Pacey repeats.

“Ah, yes. We’d like for you to regale our group with your heroic tale,”

Pacey took a look at Joey and then looked back to Dawson. “Sure. Sounds enjoyable,”

“Good. Settled then,” Dawson throws his arm around Joey and the two of them walk off together and just as their far enough away, he says, “The boy must be thrilled to be dining in high style, for once? A bit of an honor,”

“That he deserves,” Joey reminds him. “He saved my life.”

“Of course,” Dawson nods, although Joey isn’t sure if she entirely believes him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, so we've got all our main characters fitting into the story now. Please review.


	3. dreams

Joey’s back in her own bedroom staring towards the mirror on top her vanity, thinking of Pacey Witter. She thinks of his voice, which elicted a feeling inside of her that she’d never felt before and it’s a good feeling. She wants that good feeling back, but knows that her place is here with Dawson and he reminds her of it when she sees him standing in her doorway through her mirror. Dawson approaches her tenderly and runs his hands up and down her arms. “I worry for you sometimes, Joey,” he says.

For a meer moment, she thinks that he must know that what happened earlier wasn’t an accident. Within seconds, Dawson reassures her that this isn’t the case. “I know that you must be concerned about going back to America without your mother, but I think it’ll be good for us there. We can start a whole new life,”

“You, a director, myself, a house wife,” Joey says, practically emotionless.

“Is that not what you want?” Dawson questions.

She shakes her head, unwilling to admit the truth to him. The truth will sound silly to him and he will only laugh at her. She knows Dawson better than anyone and she knows that her own dreams are meaningless to him. “No. It all sounds wonderful, Dawson,” she’s lying through her teeth, but a fake smile is all it takes to convince him and Dawson kisses her once he sees it.

“Very good. Come to bed now. You must be exhausted from what you went through,” he proclaims and wonders off into the ajoining room. He closes the door behind him and Joey couldn’t have been more thankful for this because this is the privacy that she craves. 

Instead of going to Dawson's room, she stays in her own. As Joey falls underneath her blankets and her head hits the cool pillow that her maid, Mary, had fluffed for her only about fifteen minutes before, she thinks once more of Pacey Witter. The look of him, scruffy and tall, the way his slightly muscled arms felt when she’d held onto them as she’d slipped. He had changed her life and she’d only spoken with him for a minute or so. Joey couldn’t help but wonder what it was about Pacey that gave her the will to live that Dawson couldn’t and she must’ve laid there for hours thinking about it, but an answer never came to her. She knew one thing for certain, and that was that Pacey Witter brought an excitement and fire to her life that she had never known before. 

* * *

 

Pacey came to bed very late that night. After the whole struggle of his arrest and then being eyed down by Joey’s fiancee’s lackey for a while, he’d gone back to lying on his bench, staring up at the stars. But this time, he’d thought of Joey Potter. Joey Potter, and what could’ve happened to her to lead her to think that jumping off a boat to her death was her only solution.

The two men they were boarding with were sleeping when Pacey arrived back in the room. They were snoring loudly and he musn’t have noticed last night because right now, it was bothering him rather a lot. It must’ve been bothering Jen as well because he found her lying in his bunk rather than her own.

Pacey slipped in next to her, throwing his shoes under his bed. “Are they keeping you awake?” he whispered to her.

She nodded. “I thought you could tell one of your boring stories to me so that I fall asleep,”

He made a face. “You wouldn’t believe the night I’ve had,”

“Yes, where were you? That woman Audrey, was looking for you. I might say that she’s become taken with you,”

Normally, Pacey would’ve smirked at the thought of a pretty girl like Audrey thinking him handsome, but he was far too caught up in Joey Potter. “Do you recall that first class woman from earlier? The one on B deck?”

Jen raises her eyebrows and curls her hands up so that she’s resting her head on one of them. “The one you were positively gazing at? Of course.”

“I ran into her tonight,” he explained. “Her fiancee got me arrested,”

He didn’t feel the need to confide the whole story in Jen because it really wasn’t his to tell. If Joey Potter wanted to tell the story about how she’d almost plummetted to her death, than she could, but Pacey certaintly wasn’t going to. And Jen didn’t ask questions, which was one of the things he liked best about her. “You need to be more careful,” was all that she said.

“I know. It really wasn’t my fault, though. It was just a misunderstanding,”

He’s being genuine enough that Jen believes him and she nods. She turns away from him and looks up at the bottom of her own bunk. They’re both silent for a few minutes, Pacey being very squished but still trying to fall asleep and Jen thinking. She speaks just as he’s getting comfortable. “Be honest with me, Pacey. What do you want to do in America?’

Pacey opens his eyes reluctantly and looks to Jen, who is obviously thinking very hard about the subject. “What do you want to do?” he asks her.

She turns her head and stifles a giggle. “It’s a tad bit embarrassing,”

“I won’t laugh,”

She considers it for a moment and then says, “I don’t really know. I just want to be successful. Not like the first class, but successful enough for me to be happy. And it’s not as if I’m not happy with you, because I am, but I dream of bigger things, do you know what I mean?”

“Would you stay in New York?”

Jen nods. “I always loved it when I lived there with my folks. And now that they’ve thrown me to the wind, I feel like it’s my destiny to go back there. It’s where I was truly happy. Do you understand?”

“Could I go with you?” Pacey asks her. He’s not sure why they’re talking about this because he and Jen rarely speak of anything serious, but the quiet rocking of the ship and the loud snoring from beside them is somewhat of a sure sign that it’s right.

“Obviously, I’d take you with me. I need someone to assist me when I make it big,”

Pacey rubs his eye with his hand and grins. “Maybe I’ll take that first class girl with me as well,”

Jen purses her lips. “This is why we call them dreams, Pacey,”

“Joey Potter is not a dream. She’s a reality,” Pacey says, more to himself than to her.

“This mystery woman has a name now? Joey. Huh. Odd name,”

“So is Pacey. Besides, I suspect it’s short for something,”

“Quite obviously it is,” Jen exlaims.

“Let me tell you though, Jen. Joey Potter is amazing,” said Pacey.

“All wealthy women are,”

“Yes, but she’s not like the rest of their lot. You wouldn’t believe me even if I told you,” Pacey stated. His heart was so high up in his chest, he felt happier and more lightheaded than he’d felt in years, maybe in his entire life. His encounter with Joey had left him feeling changed and he knew that Jen wouldn’t want to hear that. She was much more cynical than he was.

“You’re right, I wouldn’t. I must warn you though, Pacey. I highly doubt that you’re ever going to come across this woman again,”

“We’ll see,” he responds and it might be the most hopeful that he’s ever sounded. 

* * *

 

Joey dreams of Pacey Witter that night. She dreams of the way he’d looked at her when he’d introduced himself, how he hadn’t looked at her like a delicate flower that could fall to pieces at any second. He’d looked at her like she was a real person. A real person who was hanging off the back of a ship, but a real person at that. In the dream, Pacey is doing the same thing he had done when she’d met him in real life – he’s simply just standing there, looking at her. He’s wearing the raggedy clothing from yesterday – a brown jacket, white buttoned shirt and loose trousers. He looks quite handsome, quite like the sort of strong lumberjack that she can imagine herself being attracted to if it were not for her engagement to Dawson.

She’s awakened from her peaceful dream and for a meer moment, Joey hopes that her mysterious savior might be standing over her, but it’s instead, Mrs. Leery who’s already dressed for the day. She regrets being hopeful because she’s aware that she should not even be thinking of Pacey Witter, for all he is is a man who’d just happened to be in the same place as her at the same time. “Josephine, I heard of your accident from last night. I do hope that you’re alright,” Mrs. Leery calls for Mary to come into the room and lay out an outfit for Joey.

“Um, yes, m'am, I’m fine,” she rubs at her eyes, completely exhausted and worn out from the emotional distress from her day before. All Joey really wants to do is go back to sleep and pretend that she didn’t have to deal with the Leerys and their proper behaviors that she abided by daily. She’s well aware that Mrs. Leery isn’t going to let her do this.

“Very good. Get dressed now, dear. I’m having brunch with Lady Duff Gordon and I thought that you might like to join me,” Mrs. Leery waves for Mary to leave the room and she bows her head and exits. Joey knows that “I thought you might like to join me,” means “Joey, join me or else” and the “or else” is that Joey will be dropped like a fly. Perhaps not right away, but she knows that she’s only kept under the Leerys’ protection because of her mother’s relationship with them. And if she proves herself to be a disgrace, it will not only disappoint them, but her mother in death. Plus there’s the ever present fact that if Joey does prove herself as unworthy for Dawson, she’ll have nothing. She has to do as told.

But there is one way that she can get out of this brunch. “Actually, m'am, I have already made plans to meet with Andie in a bit,” It’s a lie, but Andie seems like the type that would lie for her if she was asked to. Joey made a mental note to speak with her later on.

Mrs. Leery looked disappointed, but she nodded. “Sure. Just remember to be back for dinner,”

“Um, where’s Dawson?” Joey asks. Dinner is a long while from now and Dawson usually asks for her before then. Well, either that or he sends that horrible Hitchcock out to keep an eye on her.

“Dawson is in a meeting with his father and a few other gentlemen discussing some business opportunities,” Mrs. Leery explains. “They probably will not be back until this eveing,”

Joey nods. While they’d been having this conversation, she’d been plotting on what she actually going to do instead of joining Mrs. Leery for brunch. She would go down to the third class decks and search for Pacey Witter. It was wrong, but she had a feeling in her stomach that she hadn’t felt in years – she thought that it might be called hope. Happiness. And that all related back to Pacey Witter and their conversation the night before. Mrs. Leery exits her room and wishes her a good day and Joey calls Mary back in to help her dress.

“It’s a lovely day today, isn’t it, Mary?” Joey asks, even though she hadn’t as much as seen through a window yet.

Mary smiles, “Yes, miss, it is.”

Joey thinks that it might get even better as soon as she makes her way down to third class. 

* * *

 

Pacey had been awakened at the crack of dawn by Audrey, who had somehow found their room and shook the both of them awake with a bit of force. She winked at Pacey more than once when he and Jen slipped on their shoes, neither one of them bothering to change into one of the two changes of clothes they’d brought along with them. Audrey, as it turned out, was travelling alone and was hoping to make it big in the theater in America with the help of her mother’s name. She told them about how she didn’t think she would even be speaking to the other passengers in their class because she felt that she reeked of old money that had run out (she didn’t) but was so happy that she had been able to find two “gems” like Pacey and Jen.

After a spot of breakfast, the three of them headed out to the third class general room, a loud, boisterous place where the action never seemed to end. Mothers cradled wailing babies, children ran between benches, men argued with each other loudly while they passed cigarettes back and forth and a young woman was playing an upright piano. Pacey ended up sitting on one of the benches, telling an animated story about what America was like to a few small Irish children who were staring up at him in bewilderment and awe. Nearby, Jen was chatting up an Italian bloke who seemed to know very little English and Audrey was telling a group of elder women all about her family history. It was a lovely morning and all three of them were enjoying themselves, but the morning got just a bit brighter for everyone when Joey Potter walks down the stairs into their vicinity.

Practically everyone turns to stare at her and the room becomes quiet except for the screaming babies and Pacey, who is so caught up in his story - although the children aren't listening anymore - that he doesn’t even notice her. Audrey taps him on the back of the head to get his attention and he turns, following her gaze towards Joey. Joey seems to notice him because she picks up her pace and walks his way. Pacey immediately stands and greets her with a grin.

“Hello, Pacey,” she says, giving him a nod.

Jen is making a delighted face from behind Joey, and Pacey ignores her, as well as Audrey’s whispering to the old women.

“Good to see you again,” he responds.

“Could we speak in private?” she asks him and Pacey feels his heart soar because damn right, he told Jen, this was a reality. Joey Potter was real.


	4. questionings

Pacey and Joey walk side by side on the boat deck. Joey hasn’t said anything to him since she’d asked to speak with him, but he isn’t complaining. It’s a beautiful day out and he’s got the company of a beautiful woman walking beside him. He hasn’t been on this deck before and suspects that it must at least be second-class, because he can feel himself being glanced at curiously for his rough clothing.

“So, what was it that you wanted to speak with me about?” Pacey asks her after a while.

Joey turns to him and then looks away, like she’s embarrassed or something. “I . . . I wanted to thank you for what you did last night. Not just for, um, pulling me back but for your discretion,”

“You’re welcome,” he says.

“You must think I’m a complete idiot. Poor little rich girl – what does she have to be miserable about?” Joey states, looking down at her hands.

Pacey shakes his head. “No. I think that you must’ve had a lot to be miserable about if you were going to kill yourself,”

Joey’s demeanor changes. “I just felt trapped. Like, I had no way out of this life that I’ve made for myself – or well, I haven’t really done anything for myself and that’s the problem. I just needed to get away from everyone and I suppose at the time there seemed to be no other way to get away then to just . . . jump. I was just so furious and upset and, I wasn’t thinking straight. It just felt like – would anyone really care if I were to jump? They hardly notice me anyway,”

She was speaking so fast, but the last couple of sentences were said slowly and quietly. Pacey thinks back to last night. “That man who came to get you, is he one of these people who don’t notice you?”

Joey nods. “He’s my fiancé,”

Pacey already knows this, as it had been shouted at him the night before. “That’s not an answer,”

She shrugs. “Dawson is . . . nice. He’s a good man, that’s for certain,”

“But do you love him?” Pacey asks, knowing that’s exactly what she’s thinking about. It must offend Joey because her head jilts right up and she looks at him as if he’d just insulted her intelligence.

“I beg your pardon?” she says, appalled.

“Well, I just think that maybe that’s why you aren’t too crazy about marrying the guy,” Pacey explains himself.

“I – I – you’re being very rude,”

“Am I?” Pacey raises his eyebrows. “I assumed that the reason you came down to my part of the ship - to walk amongst steerage, I might add - was to request my presence to speak with you. And I assumed that this also meant that we were talking like friends, meaning I could give my opinion freely.”

Joey shakes her head. “No, no, no! I did not ask for your opinion, Mr. Witter!”

“Pacey,” he corrects.

“Pacey, then. I did not ask for your opinion and I certainly do not need you telling me how I feel about my fiancé!”

He smirked and looked the other way so he could wipe it off of his face before looking back to Joey. “I never told you how you feel about him. I asked you a question and you didn’t answer it,”

Joey ultimately realizes this and her mouth forms the perfect shape of an owe. She looks bewildered, like she’s truly thinking of an honest answer to the question and that’s all the confirmation that Pacey needs to prove him right – Joey is stuck in a relationship to a man that she doesn’t love. Instead of saying this aloud, she says. “I don’t owe you an answer, Pacey! My relationship with my fiancé is none of your business,”

He nods. “Sure,”

Joey takes his hand and begins shaking it. “Well, I’ve had quite enough of this. You are rude and uncouth and presumptuous and I am leaving now,”

“I’ve been called much worse,” he says it with a laugh and it’s obvious by Joey’s expression that she doesn’t dislike him nearly as much as she is stating to. This, and the fact that she is still shaking his hand, like she’s afraid to let go.

“I could call you much worse but I am a lady of manners,” she informs him. “But you’d probably deserve those insults,”

Pacey nods, agreeing with her on this. Joey is still shaking his hand and she keeps looking from their entwined hands to his face. “Aren’t you leaving?”

“I am,” Joey says and turns to walk away from him. Pacey knows she isn’t going anywhere. She stops walking about two feet later and turns straight around. “Wait! I don’t have to leave! This is my part of the ship, you leave!” she commands him.

Pacey laughs. “You and I both know that you don’t really want that,”

Joey doesn’t deny this and her brow furrows. She’s stumbling over her words, as if trying to find the right thing to say but it isn’t coming to her. She looks Pacey up and down and then spots his sketchbook. She grabs it from him without asking. “What is this stupid thing you’re carrying around?”

Joey takes a few quick peaks and then moves to sit down on one of the deck chairs. Pacey follows and sits next to her. “Are you an artist, then?” she asks and he shrugs. Joey continues looking through the pages, more carefully this time.

She’s looking at his older ones right now – ones he’d drawn when he’d been in France months ago. Joey flips through pages of an old woman’s veiny hands, a man who’d fallen asleep on a bar stool and a mother holding her newborn baby. Her face softens, as if looking through Pacey’s work has somehow drawn her to him. “Pacey, these are actually quite good. Really, I’m being honest,”

“They didn’t think too much of ‘em in old Paree,” he says.

Joey is completely drawn into his work; she doesn’t look up at him until she comes across one of his first nude sketches of Jen. “Well, well, well,” she says, as if she’s caught him in some obscene act.

Pacey watches her cheeks redden as she comes across a series of nudes, many of them are of Jen, but a few are of some French women that he, er, came across during his travels. “These are um, intimate,” Joey states, like she couldn’t think of another word to use.

Pacey chuckles. “That’s one way to put it,”

“And these are drawn from life?’

He nods simply.

Joey goes back through the last few drawings and lands on one of Jen. She’s stretched out on a couch, her hair falling into her face and she’s frowning, staring off into space. “Do you like this woman? You’ve used her several times,”

“That’s my friend Jen,” he explains.

Joey purses her lips. “I think you must have had a love affair with her,”

Pacey quickly puts this idea to rest. “No, no. We’re good friends. I just draw her often because she’s got really intense eyes,”

“Yes, I’m sure she takes her clothes off for you so that you can look at her eyes,”

“Nah. Jen’s a beautiful girl. Lots of men are willing to pay for pictures of her like this. That’s how I make most of my money,”

Joey looks to him, interested. “Are you here with her?” There’s something in her voice that he detects as jealousy but she’s trying to hide it.

“We won our tickets in a poker game yesterday morning,”

For the first time, Joey laughs. It’s a real laugh, not a polite one and she lights up. She’s got a smile that takes up half of her face and Pacey wants to see more of it. “You’re serious?” she asks him.

He nods. “We were at a bar a few nights ago and Jen was chatting up this man and I don’t how the topic came up but she started boasting about her skills in poker – she really isn’t that great – and he and his friend challenged the two of us to play against them the next day. We won and ended up here,”

Joey’s eyes are wide, like he’s just told her that he knows the President of the United States or something. “That’s amazing, Pacey,”

“Is it?” He’s surprised. It’s not something that he would’ve thought to be exciting.

“You didn’t even know you were going to be on _Titanic_ until hours before she set sail!”

“Minutes,” Pacey, corrects her, feeling a bit cocky.

“Minutes! Goodness! I can only dream of living my life that way. Never knowing what I’m going to do until I do it! I don't think I could ever be brave enough to let myself live like that," Joey confesses. She’s acting girlish; more so then he’d seen her acting before.

“If you could do anything as soon as you get off this ship, what would it be?”

She must’ve never been asked this question before and had been waiting for someone to ask because she answers just as he finishes talking. “I’d ride a Ferris wheel! Really, I would. I’d go to Coney Island and I’d ride the Ferris wheel all day long, just looking out at the sights below me,”

“You’ve never been to Coney Island?”

“You have?!”

“After I left home, it was the first place I went. I ate fairy floss until I threw up. I was fifteen and an idiot,” he adds.

“You’ve been on your own that long? How old are you now?”

“Seventeen,”

“Really? I am as well,” Joey smiles her same smile that took up her face.

“Looks like we got more in common then we originally thought, Joey,”

“Looks like it,”

Joey looks back down at his sketchbook after they pause for a moment. “So this Jen, tell me about her,”

Pacey figured that she would ask this. Jen had the type of face that interested people, the type of eyes that entranced people, which was what Pacey liked about them. “I met her in a pub almost a year ago now. She’s the same age and I’d say we’ve both got similar spirits and I don’t know, we just sort of clicked. She scopes out prospective buyers for me – we don’t get very many, mind you, but if we get any it’s because of her – and we share the little I make for food. I think you would like her. She puts on this façade of not having a care in the world, of being the type of girl who you’d like to have as a mistress if she weren’t so loud and opinionated. But she’s really a lot more than that – she’s got this, this really big heart and I think she’d like to share some of the love she’s got in there with someone, but she’s too scared to let anyone in,”

Joey’s staring into his eyes intently and Pacey wonders if she’s thinking about what he just said or if she hadn’t been listening at all and is just trying to make it look like she was. He stares just as intently at her, admiring her beauty under the bright sun. “You speak of her highly, Pacey. You really see people – it’s a gift,”

“I see you,”

She mimics the face that Jen is making in the drawing. “And?”

He doesn’t laugh like he wants her to, he simply says “You wouldn’ta jumped,”

* * *

 Pacey and Joey spend the entirety of the day together, just walking around the ship, talking amongst themselves. Joey noticed them getting many strange looks from passersby but for the first time, found herself ignoring them. Pacey might be the most fascinating person she’d ever met in her life. He wasn’t tied down anywhere, didn’t have a job or anything more then about ten cents in his pocket, but he was happy. He laughed genuinely, not just when he was meant to. He asked her her opinions about things and listened intently when she spoke of the book she’d just finished reading and asked her questions about the characters’ motives that she’d never thought of before. Mostly though, they spoke of Pacey’s adventures. He’d been practically everywhere, which amazed Joey, considering he had so little money and didn’t own anything other than his sketchbook and clothing. He told her specifically of this one time where he’d met up with a man who needed help fixing his car and Pacey, who was apparently good with his hands in all aspects, had offered to fix it for him in exchange for a train ticket. That seemed to be how he got anything done – by doing favor after favor and occasionally making some off of his drawings.

He told her all about his family in America and that fascinated Joey. It was a sad tale to tell, one that hit close to her heart since she lived in fear on a daily basis that her surrogate family, the Leerys, would throw her out just as Pacey’s had done with him. Like Pacey seemed to do everything, he told the story with a cheery attitude and a skip in his step. She found this to be the most amazing thing about Pacey – his inability to truly be negative about his limited means and lack of family. He was able to find the fun in any situation which was something that she could only dream of doing.

It was sunset when they approached the A deck promenade and Pacey asked her about her own family. Joey thought for a second that maybe she should lie about them so as not to seem as though she was looking for pity, but she wasn’t and she knew Pacey would understand that. He understood her better than anyone. “My father left us when I was twelve for another woman. After that my mother became ill and she passed away about a year later. I lived with my elder sister until Dawson and I became engaged,”

“And where’s your elder sister now?”

“Last I heard, she was in America. But I’m afraid we lost touch shortly after we came to England,” Joey confessed, sadly. “I change my answer from before – the first thing I want to do after getting off this ship is find my sister,”

Pacey nods. “I’m sure the Leerys will be glad to help you with that,”

“I don’t know. I don’t know if they’ve ever really liked Bessie much. My family, we sort of lost all of our money when my father left and then when my mother died, well, the family’s good name alone kept us afloat. Bessie though, she didn’t want to just have to rely on my father’s name. She wanted to make her own money, make a new life for the two of us. That’s why she went to university, not to find a husband like most girls do and the Leerys knew that. I don’t think they ever approved of her choices,” Joey says it with a sad smile, thinking of her sister and all of her dreams.

“She sounds lovely,” Pacey confesses. “I don’t know why the Leerys wouldn’t like her,”

“I’d say that the Leerys and yourself are quite different, Pacey,”

“What about Dawson? What does he think of her?”

The mention of her fiancé’s name had the same effect on the mood that it had hours ago when Pacey had had the nerve to ask if she loved him. This time, the answer is more obviously. “Well, he is a Leery,”

Pacey simply nods.

Joey isn’t the impulsive type. She always thinks before she speaks, but being around Pacey has awoken something in her and she can’t help but ask him, “Would you take me, Pacey? To see my sister?”

He answers her without even having to consider it. “Of course,”

“Really?” she asks again.

“Sounds like fun,”

Pacey is more than willing to take part in her dreams and he’s the type who will actually go out there and make them come true. “What about riding with me on the Ferris wheel? Will you do that as well?”

“If you’ll have me,” his face is suddenly that of a small boy and she imagines that her own is that of a small girl. “We can eat fairy floss and drink cheap beer and ride horses on the beach, but you’ll have to ride like a real cowboy,”

“You mean one leg on each side?”

“Is there another way?”

“Can you show me?” Joey asks innocently. This conversation is taking her far away from the reality of her life, where she’s engaged to Dawson and will never even be allowed near Coney Island.

“If you’d like,”

“I would like that, Pacey. I’d like that very much,” There’s yet another moment where they pause and just stare at each other. “And teach me to spit! Men are the only people allowed to spit and it’s unfair! I should be allowed to spit if they are,”

Pacey nods. “Well, you see, Potter, spitting’s pretty simple. Watch closely,”

He spits and it arcs out over the water. Joey makes a face, but she’d be lying if she said that she wasn’t impressed by the public show if this vulgar behavior. “Your turn,” he insists and Joey feels self-conscious and more aware of her surroundings then she had been minutes ago. She screws up her mouth only the tiniest bit and spits. A pathetic bit of it runs down her chin, the rest of it falling onto the railing. “That was pitiful!” Pacey exclaims, but takes his finger and wipes the saliva off of her. If this had been Mrs. Leery, she would’ve found it annoying, but with Pacey she finds that she likes it. She likes his hands on her more than anything.

Pacey bends back to give another demonstration. “You really gotta hawk it down – like this see – and then roll it through your teeth and – “ He spits and this time it goes further than it had the last time he’d done it. “You can’t get that kind of range from whatever you just did,”

Joey is now distracted from the people around them by the feeling of Pacey’s thumb on her chin and all of her attention is on him. She copies what he’d done exactly and is rewarded with Pacey’s bright smile. “That was great!” This of course, makes Joey smile, a rare one that she’s hardly ever done before today, but it’s instantly swiped from her face when she sees that three of the people who’d been watching them spit were none other than Mrs. Leery, Mrs. McPhee, Margaret Brown and Andie.

She becomes instantly composed. “Hello mam,” she nods at Dawson’s mother. “Mrs. McPhee, Andie,”

“Hello, Joey,” says Andie and she is the only one who greets her.

“May I introduce Pacey Witter. Pacey is the man who saved me yesterday. He’ll be joining us at dinner this evening,” Joey explains and it’s this that has Mrs. McPhee, Margaret Brown and Andie turn to him in awe and bewilderment, fascinated by this hero standing before them. She couldn’t help but notice that Mrs. Leery however, looked less than thrilled about Pacey’s presence.

“Well, Pacey, it sounds like you’re a good man to have around in a sticky spot,” Margaret says, giving Pacey a friendly tap on the shoulder. She, as well as the others jump when a bugler sounds the meal call behind them.

Andie holds her hand over her chest but giggles. Her mother shakes her head, “It’s a bit unnecessary the way they always blow that thing,” she says in her hushed voice. “Andie, dear, will you take me to see your father? I – I really need to – to speak with him before we eat,”

The timid woman is shaking a bit and Margaret instantly shoos Andie away. “Not to worry, Andrea. I believe our husbands are together – I’ll escort you,”

Mrs. McPhee nods and allows Margaret to wrap an arm around her shoulder.

“Shall we go dress, mam?” Joey turns to Mrs. Leery with her usual fake smile and Mrs. Leery nods, still staring down Pacey. “I’ll see you at dinner then, Pacey,” Joey calls over her shoulder.

This leaves Pacey and Andie on the deck alone. Andie eyes him up and down twice and she finds him to be more than a tad bit handsome. She’s empathic enough to pick up the romantic energy between Pacey and Joey, especially considering the way that Pacey is watching her walk away with a wild look in his eyes. “Pacey, is it?” Andie asks him, waving her hand in front of his face to regain his attention. It’s only y when she snaps her fingers that he notices her.

“Excuse me?” Pacey asks and Andie laughs.

“I was just wondering if you had the slightest comprehension of what you’re getting yourself into?” Andie herself has always been rich. Her father has always had a good job and she’s always enjoyed the lifestyle of a young socialite, but Andie wasn’t blind to the way that others lived their lives. And because of her mother’s and her own emotional problems, she was very accustomed to the judgments of those in their own class.

Pacey laughs, obviously not getting just how downhill their meal together this evening could go. “Not really,”

Andie tilts her head to the sit. “And what are planning on wearing?”

He gestures down to what he’s wearing – which is basically rags. Andie doesn’t even want to imagine the looks on the faces of her group if Pacey were to walk into the dining room dressed the way he was. “Come on, then,” she says, without much of a thought. She tucks her arm into the crook of Pacey’s elbow and leads him to her stateroom. She doesn’t know much about this boy, but she can tell that Joey likes him and she likes Joey. It doesn’t matter to her that the girl is engaged to be married specifically because she isn’t too sure how she feels about the man that Joey is engaged to.

“What’s your name?” Pacey asks her as they walk.

“Andie McPhee,”

He nods. “And where, my I ask, are you taking me, Andie McPhee?”

“Well I certainly am not going to let you go into the snake pit wearing that. You can borrow one of my brother’s suits,” she says and then notices that Pacey has a stockier build then Jack, who was rather slim. “Actually, I think my dad’s will fit better,”

“Ah, that’s very kind of you but you don’t need to do that,” Pacey assures her. “I’m sure I’ll be fine in this. Besides, it’ll be fairly obvious that I’m not one of your kind,”

Andie shakes her head. “I’m afraid that I have to tell you that I don’t care because I’m helping you whether or not you want me to,”


	5. dinner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all should really like and review. Just saying.

Andie McPhee dresses Pacey in what he can only assume to be one of her father’s finest suits. It’s a bit loose on him, but it fits well enough. She slicks back his crop of matted brown hair with oil and he thinks that he must look awful, but Andie whistles at him, showing her approval.

They separate once Pacey is dressed, Andie stating that she herself needs to put on a new dress for the evening. She sends him out of her room and he thanks her once more before heading out to A deck. He’s walking with much more confidence then he normally does, worried that someone will be able to tell that he isn’t a first class man. But once he steps towards the door to the first class entrance and a steward greets him with a “Good evening, sir,” he thinks that he must be playing his role smoothly enough.

The grand staircase is perhaps one of the most luxurious places he’s ever been before. Overhead is a glass dome with a crystal chandelier hanging down at its center. When he looks down, he sees that this staircase sweeps down six stories. The people passing Pacey by are also dressed quite extragavently, women in their floor length dresses and abundant accessories, gentleman wearing the same thing as he, but somehow they manage to look better. Pacey takes a deep breath and he doesn’t know why he’s so nervous – he hardly ever gets nervous. He’s good at talking his way through awkward social situations, which he’s almost positive is what tonight is going to be. A bit painful, he’s sure, but at least he’ll get to spend more time with Joey.

He descends to A deck and several men nod a greeting towards him and he does the same in return. Pacey watches the way that these people act, the way that the men chat quietly and the women stay at their sides silently. It’s so different from what he’s used to. He turns his head and sees two familiar faces, Dawson Leery along with his mother on his arm. They both walk past him, neither one seeming to recognize him and Pacey can’t tell whether or not he should take that as a compliment or not.

He doesn’t have much time to consider it however because on the stairs behind them, stands Joey, truly a vision in her dinner dress. Pacey can feel his lips forming a smile and his eyes don’t leave her as she ascends down the staircase, hypnotized by her beauty. Joey seems impressed with him, but when she gets down to his level, she touches his hair with her hand. “I must say, Pacey, I think I prefer the way your hair normally looks,”

He laughs. “You and me both. Do I really look that bad?”

Joey examines him and she flushes, beaming noticeably. “No, not at all. You look – you look very nice,”

Pacey takes her hand and brings it to his lips. He grins when he pulls away and Joey looks as if she’s going to begin giggling girlishly, but she does no such thing. Pacey offers her his arm, the two of them walking to Dawson and Mrs. Leery who are chatting amongst themselves. Joey taps Dawson on the shoulder. “Dawson, surely you remember Mr. Witter,”

Dawson does a double take and stammers out an awkward laugh. “Witter? Forgive me, I didn’t recognize you,” he holds out his hand and Pacey shakes it. “You could pass for a gentleman,”

He doesn’t seem like he realizes the possible offense that Pacey could take to the statement so Pacey doesn’t hold it against him. He nods simply, not entirely sure what to say to that. Dawson makes it perfectly clear that he wants to escort Joey into the reception room and holds his arm out for her with a smile that is most likely supposed to be charming. Joey curtsies to him and takes his arm, giving Pacey a final glance before walking ahead. Pacey wonders whether or not he should offer to escort Mrs. Leery in, but it seems that her husband has arrived and they’re already heading into the reception room together. It’s a good thing too, because the woman had been scowling at him quite obviously and he doesn’t think he would’ve enjoyed her company for too long. Thankfully, he isn’t left alone for too long. Andie McPhee approaches him, on the arm of another young man. “Pacey,” she says. “May I introduce my brother Jack?”

Jack shakes Pacey’s hand. “So you’re the one who rescued Joey yesterday?”

“I wouldn’t really call it that,” he says. It sounds far too prideful to grant himself with a title without Joey being there to claim it for him.

Jack leans in to him. “Yes, well, just be sure to speak of yourself highly as often as possible and you’ll earn their respect,”

Pacey laughs because Jack smiles, showing that he’s making fun of his crowd. Andie nods, “Yes, and act like you’ve got a lot of money. They respect that,”

He smiles in agreement and looks for Joey from the corner of his eye and finds her – she’s standing with the Leerys and a few elder men, who seem to be admiring Joey and he can’t blame them. “She’s a nice girl,” Jack says, noticing who Pacey is looking at. He begins to question Jack as to who he is speaking of but Jack answers that quickly. “Joey. She’s lovely,”

He can only agree. “Yes, she is,”

Just then, Joey looks to him and motions for him to join her. Pacey bows politely to Jack and Andie and heads off towards her. The group she’s standing with doesn’t seem to find anything out of the ordinary with Pacey, and he appreciates this. Joey pats Pacey on the arm lightly and gestures towards a middle aged man and a young woman who can’t be much older then them. “J.J, Madeleine, I’d like you to meet Pacey Witter,”

The man who Joey calls JJ takes Pacey’s hand and shakes it. “Good to meet you Pacey. Are you of the Philadelphia Witters?”

“No, the Boston Witters actually,” he corrects the man, who nods as if he’s heard of them, and then looks puzzled. Dawson, who is on Joey’s arm, gives Pacey a look that he can’t quite read and then makes a noise, indicating that he wants the subject changed. The two begin walking towards the dinner table, J.J’s wife chasing after him to get a hold on his arm. Joey and Pacey are alone again.

“That was John Jacob Astor, the richest man on the ship. Madeleine’s my age and in delicate condition. Did you notice how she tried to hide it?” Joey tilts her head in so that she can whisper to him. She points towards a man and a woman who are chatting with the Leerys. “And that’s Benjamin Guggenheim and his mistress, Madame Aubert. Mrs. Guggenheim is at home with the children of course,”

Joey motions towards Andie and Jack. “That’s Andie and Jack McPhee, siblings. There’s word that their father is stepping out on their fragile mother,”

Pacey doesn’t tell Joey that he already knew both Andie and Jack. He just wants to keep listening to her speak but unfortunately for him, they’re called for to sit down for supper.

* * *

 

Joey has in awe of Pacey Witter, now more than ever. For one thing, she couldn’t keep her eyes off of him. He looked so handsome in his suit, like an old English gentleman. She wasn’t a particular fan of the way his hair looked like this, preferring the way it had looked earlier, rustling in the wind but she could get over it. He was sitting a few seats down from her, between Jack McPhee and Margaret Brown, while she herself was wedged between Dawson and Thomas Andrews. The conversation had not yet reached Pacey, it mostly all just small talk. Joey was glad for it, it would be much more comfortable for their peers to assume that Pacey was a member of the club.

Dawson, of course, could always be counted on.

“Tell us of the accommodations in steerage, Mr. Witter. I hear they’re quite good on this ship,” Joey could’ve sworn she saw Jack’s face scrunch up at her fiancé’s crass comment.

Pacey was good with awkward situations though and simply just smiled across the table at Dawson. “The best I’ve seen, Mr. Leery. Hardly any rats,”

Dawson turned to the table. “Mr. Witter here is joining us from third class. He was of some assistance to my fiancée yesterday,”

She didn’t think that Dawson was _trying_ to seem rude; he wasn’t all that good at speaking with people about subjects other than himself in any case. But still, Joey was watching him from the corner of her eye like a hawk, waiting for the slightest falter in his smile to tell her how he really felt about Pacey. Dawson’s comment about Pacey receives many a whisper and Joey hears a particular one from across the table from Guggenheim, who whispers to John Jacob Astor, “What could Leery possibly be thinking? Bringing this bohemian up here?”

Joey’s eyes close in worry, hoping that Pacey isn’t nervous. But if he was, his kind eyes and charm hid it. A waiter approaches him. “How do you take your caviar, sir?”

“No caviar for me, thanks. Never did like it much,” he explains and this elicits a small grin from Joey. Pacey seems pleased with himself when he sees her face.

“And where exactly do you live, Mr. Witter?” asked Mrs. Leery.

Pacey cleared his throat. “Well, currently my address is the RMS Titanic. After that, I’m on God’s good humor,”

Their salad is served. Pacey reaches for the fish fork. Andie clears her throat and points out the salad fork. Joey silently thanks her.

“How is that you have means to travel, Mr. Witter?” asks Mr. Leery.

“I work my way from place to place. I won my ticket on _Titanic_ here in a lucky game of poker. A very lucky hand,”

“All life is a game of luck,” says Colonel Gracie.

“A real man makes his own luck,” Dawson states and Joey sees in his eyes a bit of resentment.

Joey quickly tries to turn the attention to her. “It turns out that Mr. Witter is quite a fine artist. He was kind enough to show me some of his work today,”

“Really?” asks Andie.

Pacey nods. “I draw here and there. It’s an easy way to meet beautiful women,”

The men at the table laugh. Mrs. Leery, however, does not. “You find that sort of rootless existence appealing, do you?”

The comment doesn’t phase Pacey but once more, Joey sees looks of shock at the crassness from Jack and Margaret Brown. “We live in a big world, ma’am and I intend to see all of it. When I was a kid, I never left my hometown but I left home at fifteen and I’ve been on the road since. I love waking up in the morning not knowing what’s gonna happen or who I’m gonna meet, where I’m gonna wind up. You have to learn to take life as it comes at you, to make each day count.”

Joey stares at him in fascination, in wonder.

“Well said, Pacey,” said Margaret.

“Here, here,” said Mr. McPhee, raising his glass. The rest of the table does the same.

“To making it count,” said Joey and she and Pacey exchange smiles. Mrs. Leery is clearly annoyed by this, as if upset that Pacey has gained a point with Joey.

The rest of the meal goes by without much attention being drawn to Pacey. He’s speaking quietly with Jack and Andie, who have fallen victim to his undeniable charm. A few times, when Margaret Brown tells a joke, she turns to Pacey and places a hand on his back as if to make him feel more comfortable. Joey is silent, she spends the rest of the meal watching Pacey, except for a quick conversation that she has with Thomas Andrews. She’s fascinated by the architecture of the ship and Mr. Andrews is a kind man who is more than happy to answer any questions she has.

It’s when a waiter arrives with cigars in a humidor on a wheeled cart that signals the end of that dinner has come to an end. The men start clipping ends and lighting. Joey leans across the table to say in a hushed whisper, “This is the part where they retreat into a cloud of smoke and congratulate each other on being masters of the universe,”

Colonel Gracie touches the lapel of his coat. “Join me for a brandy, gentleman?”

Dawson, Mr. Leery, Mr. McPhee, Mr. Andrews and John Jacob Astor stand to accompany him. Jack, however, stays seated. His father whispers something to him and it must convince him to stand, because he does. “Joining us, Witter?” asks Jack.

“No thanks. I’m heading back,”

Joey hopes the disappointment on her face isn’t too evident.

“Probably best,” says Dawson. “It’ll all be business and politics. Wouldn’t interest you. Good of you to come,”

He shakes Pacey’s hand once more and exits with the other gentleman.

Pacey stands and walks to the right of Joey. “Must you go?” she asks him.

“Time to go row with other slaves,” This makes her laugh and that giant smile erupts on her face like it had earlier in the day. Pacey takes her hand and inserts a tiny note into it. He kisses her hand, winks at her and turns to exit. “Good night, Joey,” he says and he’s looking at Mrs. Leery when he says it. The woman had obviously been glaring at him.

Joey watches him walk away until Mrs. Leery’s attention is back on the women and their talk of fashion. She surreptitiously opens the note below the table. It reads, “Make it count. Meet me at the clock.”

She waits about fifteen minutes so as not to draw attention to the fact that she’s going with Pacey and then excuses herself from the table, claiming that she’s tired. She crosses the A deck foyer, sighting Pacey at the landing above. His back is to her and he’s studying the ornate clock. It strikes the hour.

Joey goes up the sweeping staircase towards him and almost as if he senses her he turns and smiles. “So you want to go to a real party?”


	6. party

They’re back in the third class general room that Joey had been in that morning. It’s alive with music and laughter – an ad hoc band is gathered near the upright piano, playing out lively stomping music. Passengers of all ages dance, drinking beer and wine and smoking. Joey is nervous for a meer moment when they walk in, having never been in this type of a crowd before but once she feels Pacey’s hand holding hers, leading her through the crowd, it passes.

Pacey heads toward the back corner of the room, where a familiar looking girl is drinking with a blonde girl. He interrupts them and the familiar looking woman beams at him and offers him a sip of her beer. Joey recognizes the woman now – it’s Pacey’s friend Jen.

He holds out his hand, motioning for Joey to come closer and she does. Jen’s got a smug look on her face and crosses her arms across her chest. “Joey, this is Jen and Audrey,” he points out the other woman. “Jen, Audrey, this is Joey,”

Audrey’s forehead is wet with sweat, her hair sticking to her forehead and Jen’s cheeks are red, like she’s already a little drunk. They’re unlike women that Joey has ever come across before. She feels a little uncomfortable around Jen considering the fact that she’s seen her naked more times then not. Pacey seems to pick up on this and laughs as the girls shake hands. “She’s already seen your portraits, Jen!” he yells over the loud music.

She lets out a loud cackle and buries her head in Pacey’s chest. It looks as if it’s out of embarrassment, but Joey is more than certain it’s to keep herself standing. “And did you like them?” she asks Joey.

Joey is unsure of herself but the energy surrounding her makes her more confident with herself then she’d normally be. “Very much so!” she yells out to her. Jen laughs and puts a hand on Joey’s cheek, stroking it. Audrey wraps her arms around Jen’s shoulders and pulls her back.

“Excuse Jennifer! She’s very drunk!”

“Super drunk!” Jen hiccups and she practically trips over herself, falling forward. Pacey grabs hold of her arm, steadying her.

Audrey moves in towards Joey. “How is it up in the first class?”

She hopes that Audrey doesn’t think of her as a snob due to her social standing and answers with a simple and honest, “It’s much more fun down here,”

“You know, I used to be rich! My mother was an actress!” she stammers out and Joey is interested. Jen moves past them though saying “excuse me” over and over and interrupts them. She walks up to an Italian looking man and says something to him, the two of them head onto the dance floor. Audrey looks between Pacey and Joey and then stifles a very obvious laugh. “I’m going to leave you two to it then. Find myself a dance partner,”

She says the second sentence to Pacey and hands him her own beer so that he’s now holding hers and Jen’s. She heads off and Pacey takes a large gulp from the glass and hands Jen’s to Joey. She takes the same gulp that he did, except hers lasts longer. Pacey watches her as she chugs it and Joey clears her throat once there’s only about a quarter of the liquid left inside of the glass.

“What?” says Joey. “You think a first class girl can’t drink?”

The laugh that Pacey lets out is that of a child. He runs his hand through his hair, messing up the oil that was slicking it back. Joey thinks that he does it because she’d stated earlier that she didn’t like the way it looked like that. However, Pacey’s hair doesn’t go back to normal. It ends up in numerous clumps that stick up in different directions. Joey lets it stay like that for a second and then messes it up herself, so that she can put it just the way that she lies it.

“Better?” he asks her.

She nods. “Much,”

Joey thinks for a second before saying, “You still looked nice though,”

Pacey is pleased when she says this, but doesn’t say so. He keeps looking down at her with a slight flush to his cheeks and it’s not from how hot the room is. The two of them just stand there for a minute, Joey looking around and not knowing what to say. She spots a couple with two small children dancing near the piano when she points them out to Pacey. “Didn’t I see you with those little ones this morning?” she asks.

He looks to where she’s pointing and smiles. “Their room is right next to mine. The girl’s mother can’t braid hair so Jen did it for her and after she did, I told her and her brother about what America’s like. I’m telling you, they must’ve thought it was like heaven or something,”

Joey wraps her arm around Pacey’s. “Would you introduce me?” she asks. She’s completely fascinated with third class life and watching how happy these people seen is a completely new thing for her. It’s also the idea of seeing _children_ this happy that awakens something inside of her. She would’ve never have been allowed to be out this late surrounded by drunkards as a child.

Pacey smiles and brings her over. Joey’s mood brightens even further when she sees Pacey interacting with the two small children. It’s completely adorable and she’s practically cooing at it, and Joey laughs when Pacey introduces her to the little girl and the girl looks her up and down like she’s an insect. Pacey chuckles and then bows to the girl asking for her hand for a dance. She curtsies to him and goes with him near where Jen and Audrey are dancing with their partners. Joey watches Pacey and the small girl with the boy and her parents who say to her in a thick irish accent, “That’s a good man you got there, love,” and Joey doesn’t bother to correct them.

She sits down at the table next to them and claps along to the beat of the music when she catches Pacey stealing a glance at her. The father of the children offers her a beer and she takes it graciously, taking only a few sips this time.

Once the song finishes, Pacey bends down to the small girl’s level and says something to her that Joey cannot hear. He pulls her up from the table just as the next song begins to play. “Pacey, stop, I can’t – I can’t – Pacey,” Joey says, suddenly self conscious. She’s never let loose before and she doesn’t think that she wants to do so on a dance floor in front of hundreds of strangers.

“Just move with me. Don’t think,” Pacey says, cheeky. He puts one hand on the small of her waist and notices that Joey is trembling. She stops once he pulls her forward a bit. The melody of the music picks up and they’re off, awkward at first because it’s taking Joey some time to get into it. She’s nervous and she can’t explain why, doesn’t even think about why she’s feeling so frigid in this moment. She’s not protesting with Pacey, though. She likes being with him, she likes being around him, and yes, even dancing with him. And Pacey’s wide grin as he spins her around is enough for her to let herself be free in this moment.

“Wait, stop!” says Joey and she bends down, pulling off her high heeled shoes and tosses them under the table she’d been sitting at. She then leads Pacey further into the middle of the dance floor and takes both of his hands on hers, spinning him around in a circle over and over again. She’s laughing hysterically, harder then she’s laughed in years probably and Pacey is doing the same. His face stands out to her amongst the blurred others. They stop twirling only once they get too dizzy and Joey trips over herself, falling back, but Pacey catches her.

“Are you alright?” he practically shouts over the sound.

She giggles. “I’m fine,”

They laugh together once more.

* * *

 The two of them must stay in the general room for hours, but it feels like minutes. Joey dances with Jen and Audrey, who attempt to teach her some sort of jig that she’s terrible at but Pacey tells her she was good. She could tell that he was lying and slaps her arm, which earns some points from Jen who shouts that Pacey is a “cocky bastard.”

Joey only requests to go back to her room when an old man nearby them mentions the time. She’s honestly completely forgotten about Dawson and the Leerys and her responsibilities elsewhere, and the reality of it hits her hard because she’s fallen into Pacey’s world and she loves it here.

He offers to walk her back and Jen and Audrey kiss her cheeks and wish her a good night. She’s sad that she has to leave these lovely girls. Pacey takes the jacket that he’d been wearing earlier in the night and drapes it over Joey’s shoulders and she blushes. “I admire your chivalry, Pacey,” she says with a wink.

“Thank you, Joey,” he says and then as if thinking, adds. “Joey. What’s that short for?”

Joey despises her name, always has since she was a girl. “Josephine,”

“Josephine?” Pacey’s face lights up. “So, a little like _Come Josephine in my flying machine . . .”_

Joey joins him. _“And it’s up she goes! Up she goes! In the air she goes. Where she goes?”_

Neither of them can remember the rest of the words and they break down laughing just as they reach the first class entrance. Joey’s smile falls and then she figures, they’re here now. She can manage just a few more minutes of time with Pacey. She walks towards the railing of the ship and grabs a davit, looking out into the ocean. “It’s magnificent,”

Pacey leans on the rail. “It really is. You know it’s weird because it just looks like miles and miles of the same thing but I feel like I could stare out at it for hours,”

Joey nods. “It’s beautiful,”

“This is gonna sound stupid, but I always used to dream of having my own little sailboat and just sailing the ocean all by myself,” he confesses.

“How could you do that? You’d run out of food,”

“I’d fish,”

“Wouldn’t you get bored?”

He shakes his head. “I could try out some landscapes. I’ve never drawn those before,”

Joey stares right back out at the ocean. She imagines Pacey on a little white sailboat, sitting on the edge of it with his feet in the water and a fishing rod in his hands. Then, she pictures herself next to him, eating a fish he’s already caught. “What if I wanted to go with you? Would you still want to go by yourself?” she questions.

“I’d go everywhere with you if I could,” it’s not even that romantic of a statement but the way Pacey says it brings a certain beauty to it.

She stares at his lips and she wants to kiss him, but she doesn’t. She turns away. “Yes, well . . . it’s back to high society I must go,”

Pacey nods. “But if you could, would you? Sail the world with me, I mean?”

“I’d like nothing more,”

Joey takes off the jacket and hands it back to Pacey with a sad smile. “I’d better get going,” she explains.

“Goodnight _Josephine,”_ he teases.

She slaps in the arm again. “If you ever call me that again I’ll have you arrested!”

Her hand lingers on his arm and there’s yet another moment where she stares at him, wanting to kiss him desperately. Joey thinks back to Dawson, waiting for her in their suite and sighs. “Goodnight, Pacey. And thank you for tonight. I had a wonderful time,”

Pacey nods and pretends to tip his hat to her. “Me too,”

She takes one last look at him and walks through the First Class Entrance, her heart never leaving the spot on the deck with him.

 


	7. forbidden

   Joey wakes up the next morning immediately saddened because Mary comes in to inform her that Dawson has requested her attendance at breakfast on their private promenade. Just as she’d expected it to be when she’d groaned after Mary had woken her, it was boring and silent – the complete oppisote of the night she’d had with Pacey the night before.

   Dawson breaks the silence. “I had hoped you would come to me last night,”

   _Just like you do every night,_ Joey thinks to herself. It seems like it’s every day that Dawson asks for her to make love to him. What he didn’t get was that she always said no for a reason and Pacey was making her realize that the reason was plain and simple: Dawson was boring and she didn’t truly _feel_ with him.

Still, she makes an excuse. “I was tired,”

   Dawson smirks and takes a bite from his food. “Yes. Your extertions below decks were no doubt exausting,”

   Joey’s eyes dart up from her plate. She almost asks how he could’ve possibly known where she’d been, but then thinks better of it. “I see you had that undertaker of a manservant follow me,”

   Dawson takes a deep breath like he’s trying to calm himself. “Joey, how could you do that? With a man that I had trusted, invited to dinner, even? You’re not to do something like that again.”

   “I’m not some actor in your plays that you can command! I’m your fiancee,” It’s the first time she’s really stood up to him, fired back at the way that he treated her more like a servant than a person. She’s proud of herself and the first thing she thinks of doing is telling Pacey about how she’d done this.

   “Yes, Joey, that’s exactly what you are! My fiancee!” Dawson explodes, sweeping the breakfast china off the table with a crash. She’s shocked, scared even. Never in all the time she’s known Dawson has she ever seen him behave this way. “I don’t expect for my fiancee to be spending her nights galavanting with another man! Do you know how that makes me look? You’re supposed to honor me as a wife is reqired to honor her husband! Do you want for me to be a laughing stock?!”

   Joey holds onto the arms of her chair, frightened by the way that Dawson is in her face screaming at her. Her eyes widen in fear and Dawson must notice this because he softens, but only the smallest bit. “Are we clear?” he asks and Joey nods, in hopes that he’ll just leave her alone.

   He does, sneering at her before walking out the door. Mary hurries in right away and begins trying to collect the broken china that’s splattered all over the floor. Joey is crying, taking staggered breaths, “I’m sorry, Mary, we – we – had an acc-accident, I’m so sorry . . .”

   “It’s alright, Miss Joey, it’s fine,” Mary repeats, waving Joey away so that she can do to her job and tidy. Joey is still terrified, almost afraid to move although she’s shaking.

   “I’m sorry . . . I’m sorry,” she’s saying it more to Dawson then to Mary, even though he’s already exited. Mary takes her hand and helps her up, leading her back into the stateroom. Thankfully, Dawson is no longer there and they walk to Joey’s own bedroom without much worry.

* * *

 

   Jen and Pacey sit on the poop deck together early in the morning. Jen was sitting with her legs to her chest, her head on Pacey’s shoulder, her face to the sky, trying to let the wind soothe her hangover. Pacey was sitting there with his arms crossed, looking out to the water as he had done with Joey the night before. As if reading his mind, Jen says with her eyes still closed, “So was your night with the princess?”

   Pacey smiles. “I’m surprised you even remember meeting her,”

   “I certainly do. And I also remember watching her hang all over you like she doesn’t have a boyfriend,”

   “Fiance,” Pacey corrects her and he doesn’t even need to look at Jen to tell the look that she has on her face.

   “And uh, you think it’s a good idea to get involved with an already attached woman?”

   “The guy’s a dick, Jen,” is the only excuse he can think of.

   “He’s still her fiance. And I hate to tell you this, but when we get off this boat, she’s going with him,”

   This thought is not lost on Pacey. Even though he and Joey had discussed numerous times what a life the two of them could live off of _Titanic,_ the reality of the situation was that she probably wasn’t going with him. “Maybe she’ll go with me,”

   Jen takes her head off of his shoulder and flips her legs around so that she’s fully sitting with her feet on the ground. She taps his hand. “I think you’d be better off just fucking Audrey a few times,”

   Her sudden change of subject is obvious to Pacey. “You don’t think she would?”

   “I didn’t say that,”

   “You didn’t have to,” he uncrosses his arms and looks at Jen dead on. “What? Just because I have no money, no home and no job she’s gonna choose him?”

   He says it like he’s serious, and lets Jen know that he’s not by falling into laughter. “I’m not an idiot,” he says. “I know I have nothing to offer her. But . . . I still have hope that she’ll choose me. I mean, you should see how this guy treats her, Jen. He’s the worst kind of man,”

   “And I suppose you’re saying you’re not?”

   Pacey does a very dramatic shrug, because he know he’s not the best man in the world but he’s got to be better than Dawson Leery. Jen takes Pacey’s hand, “Darling, listen. _You_ are a good man. We joke a lot but you are,”

   “How do you suppose I show Joey Potter that?”

   “You tell her. Convince her that you’re the one that she should get off this boat with. I see the way she looks at you – trust me, she wants that,”

   Pacey pauses, thinking about her suggestion and knows that if the ever cynical Jen believes in this then it’s just as real as he believes that it is.

* * *

 

   Mrs. Leery had come to Joey’s bedroom to help her prepare for service but Joey knew that the real reason that she was there was because of Pacey. Dawson had this irritating habit of telling his parents everything and when Mrs. Leery entered the room with a frown on her face, Joey instantly knew that she was already aware of the situation. She’s still feeling extremely timid from her confrontation with Dawson earlier and she’s trying to convince herself that that was a one time thing and Dawson will never react that way again, but she can’t even manage to attempt to convince herself of this. Dawson has always been the jealous type – it really isn’t all that shocking.

   Mrs. Leery helps Joey with her corset and mutters out sternly, “We took you in to our family, Josephine. I don’t expect you to be parading around with some . . . some . . . boy,”

   She says “boy” as if she wanted to use a much worse word but decided against it. Joey honestly doesn’t know what she can say to Mrs. Leery because she is right – they did take her in, but she didn’t even do anything with Pacey. “Nothing disgraceful went on, ma’am. I can assure you of that,”

   “A boy like that? Believe me, Josephine, something disgraceful will go on there,”

   Joey closed her eyes and bit her lip. “How would you know anything about him? He isn’t like that,”

   Mrs. Leery tightened her corset even further and then stopped. “You are not to see that boy again, Josephine. I forbid it,”

   In an ideal world, she could argue with Mrs. Leery that this was none of her business but she knew in her heart that it was. She lived in her home and was engaged to her son – if she continued seeing Pacey then she would be homeless and she wasn’t entirely sure if she could do that. She didn’t know of the real world. Still, she tried to argue. “Nothing went on. We’re just friends,”

   Mrs. Leery turns her around to stand face to face with her. “Believe me when I say this, Josephine, I loved your mother and I love you but if you do not honor my son then I will have no choice but to let you go,”

   Joey stiffens, but says nothing. Mrs. Leery continues on with her frigid statement, “Your father left you nothing but a series of bad debts hidden behind a good name. Your sister is off at University – do you really think she’ll leave there to care for you? Your future with Dawson is the only thing that you have going for you, dear.”

   All Joey wants to do is slap this woman in the face – how dare she speak of her family this way! She has no right to, especially considering how good of friends she had been with Joey’s mother. Joey could tell her how her son is a pretentious, uncaring, presumptuous and arrogant bastard or that she was a selfish, far too prim woman with bad hair, but even she wasn’t rude enough to do that. Just as she’s seething silently, Mrs. Leery pulls her in for a hug. “I know you’re smart, Josephine. I know you know what the right decision to make is. Don’t make the wrong one. The last thing I want is to see you working as a seamstress,”

   Joey hugs her back tentatively, only to not further the confrontation. She doesn’t know how to show Mrs. Leery just how much she’s come to despise her family in the past few days and just how upset and offended she is by this conversation. She wants to lash out to this woman for the first time, tell her how it doesn’t matter to Joey that her mother was friends with Mrs. Leery or that she’s engaged to Dawson – it matters that’s completely miserable with this family and wants out. And that Pacey Witter is the person who made her see that.

   But the truth is, her mother’s friendship with the Leerys _does_ matter to Joey because her mother matters to her and sometimes it feels like all that she can do is miss her mother. And Joey honestly doesn’t know what her mother would want her to do. She would want for her to be happy, but she would also want her to live the proper life that would come with marrying Dawson. Her mother had always liked Dawson, always said he was a nice boy but she didn’t know the truth. She didn’t know how bored Joey was with him, how she felt like she was living her life the same way over and over again every day and nothing would ever change. In the next month, she’d be waking up every morning to sleep with a husband that she realized today that she didn’t love. Joey was not in love Dawson Leery and she highly doubted that there was anything he could do that would make her love him.

   Her heart longed for Pacey Witter, his kind eyes and his strong hands and the way he looked at her that made her feel like she would melt. Her brain knew that the proper thing to do was to stay with the Leerys no matter how unhappy it made her. Joey just felt she wasn’t strong enough to break free from the chokehold that she was constantly in.

* * *

 

   Pacey had figured that he’d meet Joey just outside the dining saloon once that morning’s service was finished. He’d wanted to go to her first thing but decided that it’d be more practical to wait until she was fully awake and ready for the day. Pacey wanted to take her down to the general room again, maybe this time have her tell some of the passengers about what America was like through her own eyes.

   Just as he’d made it there however, two stewards in fancy dress stopped him. “I just need to talk to someone,” Pacey explains to them.

   “You’re not supposed to be up here,” Pacey recognizes the man as the steward who had let him into the saloon just the night before.

   “I was here last night, remember?”

   “No,” the man says simply. “Please turn around,”

   Pacey spots Hitchcock walking out of the saloon and knows that surely he’s coming to show him in to where Joey is. “He’ll tell you,” he says as Hitchcock walks through the exit.

   Hitchcock has a smug look on his face and Pacey right away that this isn’t good nws. “Mr. Leery and Ms. Potter continue to be most appreciative of your assistance. They asked me to give you this in gratitude,”

   The man holds out two twenty dollar bills and Pacey backs up, waving his hand out, refusing to take it. “I don’t want your money, I just –“

   “They also asked me to remind you that you hold a _third class ticket_ and your presence here is no longer appropriate,”

   Pacey finally sees Joey in the crowded room but she doesn’t see him. “I just need to talk to Joey for – “

   “Gentleman, please see that Mr. Witter gets back where he belongs,” Hitchcock hands the stewards the money that he was originally going to give to Pacey. “And that he stays there,”

   The stewards nod and take Pacey by the arms, escorting him out, not listening to his protests. Pacey knows that there’s no way that Joey would’ve said that she didn’t want to see him anymore, not after last night. It just – maybe Dawson had said this on her behalf, but not Joey. Joey wanted to see him again, it was pretty much all she spoke out. There was no way that he could believe that she wanted him out of her life.

**Author's Note:**

> Please review. I would love to know your thoughts.


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